Ali's Journey

And So it Begins...

July 17, 2014 will be a day I will never forget.  At 11:22am I was working on the computer at my desk and my cell phone rang.  I picked it up and said "Hello, this is Alison".  The voice on the other end said "Ms. Sykes, this is the doctor and I'm calling about your biopsy results.  I'm sorry but you have cancer".  Cancer.  I remember turning to my boss Ray and with tears flowing I said to him "I have cancer".  The doctor on the other end of the phone was saying something about the next step and appointments they were making but it was all a blur to me at that point.  All I could hear was I had cancer.

Let me back up to several weeks prior.  I had noticed a lump on the upper right side. First let me say that I hate going to the doctor.  I have said to my internist several times, jokingly then, that I always get bad news and I'd rather not know!  Ha Ha.  Anyway,  I went to see her and she recommended that I have a mammogram and ultrasound done.  Here I go again to yet another doctor's appointment....but I did.  Now you ladies that have gone through the experience of sitting in a room full of women, all dressed in those stiff white gowns waiting to have their "girls" squeezed by heavy steel plates can sympathize.  After 10....not 2, not 4, but 10 different views, I was escorted to the ultrasound room.  The radiologist took forever to complete the ultrasound but I had been warned that it took a long time and not to get panicky.  Finally after about 45 minutes she said to me "I think we need to biopsy that lump and I've found another mass on the left side I think needs to be biopsied also".  Huh?  Are you talking about me?  Seriously?  Oh Wow....Ok...So the appointment for the biopsies got scheduled.  Ok, so now I'm beginning to get alittle, ok, really nervous.  I don't like needles, I don't like pain period.  I don't tolerate this stuff very well.  Talk about a long week.  I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I just wanted to get this over with.  Finally the day arrived, Tuesday, July 15th.  Jim went with me and waited for three hours in the waiting room.   I was prepped and given a local injection on both sides.  The biopsy was done on the right side first and it was quite uncomfortable because of the location of the lump and because she took six different tissue samples.  The left side was a breeze compared to the right.  There was a nurse helping and during the procedure her and I struck up a conversation talking about our kids etc.  After the doctor left she said to me "I don't think you have anything to worry about".  I was shown back out to the waiting room and given post-biopsy instructions and told I would get the results within 24-48 hours.  I didn't go to work on Wednesday but stayed home to kinda re-coup and rest.  On Thursday, I was sitting at my desk working when I saw the number to the Women's Health Center pop up on the screen.  

My first thought was How am I going to tell Jim and the boys.  I have two sons, Greg and Justin.  I hadn't said anything to them at all.  I had told my daughter-in-law Brandy but we had decided to wait on saying anything to the boys until there was something to concern them with.  Justin is a police officer and I didn't want him distracted on the job.  Greg is so tenderhearted I knew it would worry him to death.  But the time had come.  

Over the next 24 hours we told our family and close friends what we had learned.  Jim and I still just look at each and cry.  My dear sweet friend Shelley sent this verse to me after hearing the news:  "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your GOD will be with you wherever you go".  Joshua 1:9. 

 Am I scared?  You betcha,  more than I have ever been about anything that is concerning myself.  What hurts me the most?  What this is doing to my family and those that love me.  As a mom you never ever want to do anything that causes pain or hurt to your kids and I can't control this. They try to hide it, but I see it in their eyes. 

 I decided to journal this journey that God has given to me to walk through.  I am a child of God and know that He walks with me and will never leave my side through this.  I know there will be times when I will be scared and doubt will creep in, but I know Who holds the future. God has given me some of the most wonderful, faithful, praying friends in my life and I want to thank each and everyone of you for all the love and support that you've already given to me and thank you all for walking this journey with me.