The next steps.....

I've gone from a "once-a-year just because I have to" doctor's appointment to having several in one day.  I'm not liking this, I have to tell you.  Like the old saying goes "sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it"! 

Monday we had our appointment with the surgeon.  My sister Nita is a nurse and she came in from Georgia to go with Jim and I.  It really helped to have someone there that was knowledgeable and knew what questions to ask and had my best interest in mind!!

Of course, as we knew, the tumor has to be removed.  The surgeon wants also to do a biopsy of the lymph nodes to make sure that the cancer has not spread.  The surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, August 5th at 11:30AM.  This is going to be an outpatient surgery and I should be able to go home later that afternoon!  Praise the Lord!  Even the smell of hospitals gets to me!:(

The surgeon has already recommended that we follow-up the surgery with radiation.  I had a choice on the type of radiation.  I could take six weeks of a "once-a-day" dose or I can have a catheter inserted where the tumor had been and go for one week "twice-a-day" with the radiation concentrated at a high level directly where the tumor was removed.  We've elected to go with the one week, high dose treatment.  My mind set is just to get it over as quickly as possible and we should be able to start the radiation within a couple or three weeks after the surgery.

I feel great right now, physically, (emotionally, well, that's another story) and it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that in a couple of weeks I'm going to feel like....well, you know..

My quote of the day (from a current hit song) "If you close your eyes, it almost seems like nothing's changed at all...and I'm gonna be an optimist about this"!!!

Thanks again for all your love, support, words of encouragement and most of all your continued prayers! 

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you."  1 Peter 5:7 NLT

And So it Begins...

July 17, 2014 will be a day I will never forget.  At 11:22am I was working on the computer at my desk and my cell phone rang.  I picked it up and said "Hello, this is Alison".  The voice on the other end said "Ms. Sykes, this is the doctor and I'm calling about your biopsy results.  I'm sorry but you have cancer".  Cancer.  I remember turning to my boss Ray and with tears flowing I said to him "I have cancer".  The doctor on the other end of the phone was saying something about the next step and appointments they were making but it was all a blur to me at that point.  All I could hear was I had cancer.

Let me back up to several weeks prior.  I had noticed a lump on the upper right side. First let me say that I hate going to the doctor.  I have said to my internist several times, jokingly then, that I always get bad news and I'd rather not know!  Ha Ha.  Anyway,  I went to see her and she recommended that I have a mammogram and ultrasound done.  Here I go again to yet another doctor's appointment....but I did.  Now you ladies that have gone through the experience of sitting in a room full of women, all dressed in those stiff white gowns waiting to have their "girls" squeezed by heavy steel plates can sympathize.  After 10....not 2, not 4, but 10 different views, I was escorted to the ultrasound room.  The radiologist took forever to complete the ultrasound but I had been warned that it took a long time and not to get panicky.  Finally after about 45 minutes she said to me "I think we need to biopsy that lump and I've found another mass on the left side I think needs to be biopsied also".  Huh?  Are you talking about me?  Seriously?  Oh Wow....Ok...So the appointment for the biopsies got scheduled.  Ok, so now I'm beginning to get alittle, ok, really nervous.  I don't like needles, I don't like pain period.  I don't tolerate this stuff very well.  Talk about a long week.  I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I just wanted to get this over with.  Finally the day arrived, Tuesday, July 15th.  Jim went with me and waited for three hours in the waiting room.   I was prepped and given a local injection on both sides.  The biopsy was done on the right side first and it was quite uncomfortable because of the location of the lump and because she took six different tissue samples.  The left side was a breeze compared to the right.  There was a nurse helping and during the procedure her and I struck up a conversation talking about our kids etc.  After the doctor left she said to me "I don't think you have anything to worry about".  I was shown back out to the waiting room and given post-biopsy instructions and told I would get the results within 24-48 hours.  I didn't go to work on Wednesday but stayed home to kinda re-coup and rest.  On Thursday, I was sitting at my desk working when I saw the number to the Women's Health Center pop up on the screen.  

My first thought was How am I going to tell Jim and the boys.  I have two sons, Greg and Justin.  I hadn't said anything to them at all.  I had told my daughter-in-law Brandy but we had decided to wait on saying anything to the boys until there was something to concern them with.  Justin is a police officer and I didn't want him distracted on the job.  Greg is so tenderhearted I knew it would worry him to death.  But the time had come.  

Over the next 24 hours we told our family and close friends what we had learned.  Jim and I still just look at each and cry.  My dear sweet friend Shelley sent this verse to me after hearing the news:  "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your GOD will be with you wherever you go".  Joshua 1:9. 

 Am I scared?  You betcha,  more than I have ever been about anything that is concerning myself.  What hurts me the most?  What this is doing to my family and those that love me.  As a mom you never ever want to do anything that causes pain or hurt to your kids and I can't control this. They try to hide it, but I see it in their eyes. 

 I decided to journal this journey that God has given to me to walk through.  I am a child of God and know that He walks with me and will never leave my side through this.  I know there will be times when I will be scared and doubt will creep in, but I know Who holds the future. God has given me some of the most wonderful, faithful, praying friends in my life and I want to thank each and everyone of you for all the love and support that you've already given to me and thank you all for walking this journey with me.