Slow way down Saturday!!

It's been so long I don't even know where to start! I'm sorry I haven't kept you all up on what's been going on, but I know that Jim has been doing a great job on Facebook and I appreciate it so much!

The wonderful news is radiation is over! Twenty treatments. The last four treatments were called "boost" treatments where they concentrate in a specific area with blasts of radiation. I did remarkably well during treatments so I wasn't expecting to feel like a Mac truck has run over me now! I was told to expect this but, again, I thought "not me".  I'm very fatigued. It hits all of a sudden, lasts awhile, then goes away. This occurs all during the day. I'm not hungry, even for sweets!!! My skin is broken out in a red rash all over the area that was being treated and really really itches. BUT... I know that all of this is minor compared to most that have gone through this and for that I'm very thankful. 

I had the most awesome team of techs that worked with me everyday at the radiation office. Their smiles and words of encouragement made each day easier to go through. I want to say a big thank you to Joan, Lori, and Justin for getting me through those treatments!

Thank you all again for all your support, encouragement, love and prayers over the past few months.  Even though I've been quiet over the past few weeks, I've definitely felt you guys there!

And most of all, I thank you God for never leaving my side.  Even in those dark moments I knew you were there.

Your love for us God is so amazing!!

Slow down Saturday!!

Well, week one of radiation is over, I had four treatments, 16 more to go!!   

The first treatment was Tuesday. It took a little longer because the two techs were explaining things as they went along. I have three girls that rotate and work with me...Joan, Jessica and Lori and they are awesome!  On this first day Joan was explaining my "Do's and Dont's's" and when she said "no shaving under your right arm" I stopped her and said "what? No I have to, please!!!". Her reply to me was "trust me". Ok, I guess I have to. 

The actual radiation only takes about three minutes total. They line you up with lasers that are going across the room with the marks they made on my chest, it pretty neat. The machine is turned on and starts on the left side and shoots for half the time then the machine rotates across to the lower right side and shoots again. You can't see any actual beams. 

Day two and day three went very quickly, I was probably only in the office about twenty minutes total. 

I was getting ready to take my bath on the third night and as I was lifting my arms I noticed that under my right arm there was absolutely no hair! Bare! And then I knew what Joan meant. One of the side effects, you lose your hair under your arm. But at that moment, I stood there and it truly hit me as to what was actually going into my body and what was taking place inside. It was overwhelming at that moment, but then I realize how lucky I really am. 

The other side effects have been minimal so far. My right side is swollen and about twice the normal size. Now ladies, before you think how lucky, it's only on one side! So, actually I'm kinda off-balanced!! No pun intended!!  I did feel really sleepy after the fourth treatment and the girls told me fatigue would probably set in next week. That will be tough on a lady that is never still!

I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day Holiday! Spend time with family and friends and let's all pray for one another!

Terrified Tuesday!!

And here I glow....I mean go.  I start my first radiation treatment today at 3:00PM.  A sweet girl named Katie from my church brought me a sack full of pink and purple glow bracelets and told me to wear one when I go for treatments so I could glow in color!  I'm wearing one today Katie Girl!

Am I scared?  A LOT!  I won't lie to you.  How will the treatments affect me, will I be able to work, will my body hold up to all the treatments, will there be any permanent side effects.  I'm just taking it one day at a time.

When I was born, my Mom gave me a little pink towel that has "Laugh" on it.  I still have that towel today.  All through my life she told me to just "Laugh".  So today, Mom, I'm doing just that, I'm gonna "Laugh"!  I feel you smiling from Heaven!

Thank you all again so much for your love, prayers and encouragement.

"She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."  Proverbs 31:25.

Faith Finding Friday!!

I'm so glad it's Friday!  It's been a stressful week.  I'm thinking it's going to be a good weekend spending time with my little angel Ava, hanging out with some dear friends, and worshiping at Revolution Church on Sunday!  And I definitely need to stop at the cupcake or cookie store in Memphis before I head home this afternoon......and yes, Jim, I will get you one of those strawberry cookies you can't do without!

I want to share with you all a portion of a devotion that I read this morning from Proverbs 31 Ministries.  For those of you that follow them and have read it, you will know why I have chosen to re-post it.

Scripture teaches us to believe the promises of God.  He is faithful.  He has a future full of hope planned for us.  He will protect us and provide for us.  He knows what He is doing even if at times we are certain He does not.  And yes, even at the times when He seems to be silent.

Psalm 145:13 says throughout all generations, "The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does." (NIV).  It doesn't say that He'll always let us in on the play-by-play.  We aren't promised detailed descriptions, only that the final outcome will be for our good and His glory.

By God not giving us explanations at each turn, it builds our faith.  We can go to Him in prayer asking Him to calm our anxious hearts.  We can ask Him to increase our faith so we aren't consumed by the questions, and help us trust that He--the ever-wise parent--has good in mind for us.

It is God's job to unfold our future.  It is our job to trust and glorify Him as He does.  Let's stop asking Him to spiritually skywrite all the answers and let's write His promises on our hearts instead.

"Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations.  The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does."  Psalm 145:13 (NIV)

All Marked Up!!!!!

Happy Thursday to everyone!  I had my "simulation" appointment at the Radiation Clinic yesterday.  They first did a CT scan so the doctor could pinpoint exactly where the tumor was.  The doctor then took several different color permanent markers and proceeded to make a human coloring book out of me!  I knew they said they were going to "Mark" where the radiation was to be concentrated but I didn't realize they would be marking all over my body....well , all over from the waist up!  I asked if these marks were suppose to last through the whole six weeks of treatment and they said they would like for them to.  They said you can bathe normally, but no scrubbing.  Ok.....so, last night I had a few hot flashes during the night and I woke up with some of the marks already smearing and fading.  hummm, this should be interesting.

 I did get some good news at the doctor yesterday.  My normal radiation treatment was to be for six weeks, a total of 30 treatments.  They do have an "accelerated" program that allows treatment to be completed in 21 treatments but there are only a few people that can qualify for it......and I DO!!!!  Let's see, you had to be a very small person, the radiation had to be on the right side only, and the position of where the tumor was had to be in a certain location and I qualify for all three!  So, if my body can handle the accelerated radiation, I will be able to shorten the time by 9 treatments!  That's a good thing!  

My pastor and I were talking last week and he said something about how calm I've been and how well I've handled everything so far (he knows I can be a worrier!).  I told him that God had given me a sense of peace about this cancer and that I was ok with this journey He has taken me on.  But I will say this, when I went home last night and saw all these marks on my body, it made it all seem more real.  It hit home, this is real, this is now.  Thank you God that you are always with me!

I have several friends that are going through some HUGE stuff.  My heart is really burdened for them.  To quote one of my favorite authors, Lysa Terkeurst, "we all have messes in our life, Financial messes.  Relationship messes.  Health messes.  Kid messes.  Home messes.  Business messes.  Sometimes messes are small and just feel like a slight annoyance.  Other times, they're so huge they strip the hope right out of our life.  God has placed it on my heart to be faithfully praying daily for these friends that are dear to me.   I know there are more of you that are struggling with the "messes" of life.  Don't ever forget that you were made for so much more than what you are going through right now.  This life that you are living right now, is just the beginning of the glorious unfolding of your life!

"Don't be impatient.  Wait for the Lord, and he will come and save you!  Be brave, stouthearted, and courageous.  Yes, wait and he will help you."  Psalm 27:14 (TLB)

 

Finally Friday!!

Happy Friday! The weather has been exceptional! I am still sore from the surgery last week, but I'm feeling pretty good!  I'm finally able to wash my hair by myself, whew...the things we take for granted! I have my first radiation appointment next Wednesday, the 20th. This will be what they call a "simulation" appointment where they will make marks to determine where to pinpoint the radiation and to explain how it works.  The radiation will start the following week, around the 25th. I also have an appointment on the 9th of September with an oncologist to discuss medications that might be used as part of my treatment plan. I'm ready to begin the second phase and get this all behind me.  Ava and I have a lot of playing to do!!  

"'God is good to one and all; everything he does is suffused with grace."  Psalm 145:9 (MSG)

Marvelous Monday!!!!!

God is so awesome!  Lymph Nodes are negative!  They got all the cancer!  I will follow-up with six weeks of radiation, and see an oncologist for medications!  God truly answers prayers!  You all have  been so faithful in praying for me and God hears!!!!  Thank you so much for all your love and support!  The Glory goes to God!

"Your steadfast love, O Lord, is as great as all the heavens.  Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds."  Psalm 36:5 (TLB)

Thankful Saturday!

I just want to say a very special thank you to all of you who have been reading my journal and praying for me. You've been so kind and generous with your cards, gifts, and sweet words of comfort and encouragement.  I've made so many new friends and you've all been a blessing to me. I pray that God's love shines down on you in a special way today. 

"A true friend is always loyal and a brother is born to help in time of need." Proverbs 17:17 (TLB)

It's "Do Something" Friday!

Yeah, it's Friday!  I will have to say I'm kinda glad this week is behind me!  It hasn't been as difficult as I had imagined it would be, Thank you Lord!  As my younger son Justin would say, I am in a "Holding" position right now and won't know anything until we go to the doctor on Monday morning to get the final results from the biopsy.  

As I was driving into work this morning (I listen to K-LOVE on the radio), I heard one of my favorite artists, Matthew West, tell the story behind his new song "Do Something".  The story is about Andrea, a former University of Colorado student who had chosen to spend a semester abroad learning micro-financing in Uganda.  While there, she happened upon an orphanage in critical condition.  The children were being badly neglected and even abused.  Her heart broke for these orphans who had no advocate.  That's when this college student decided to do something.  She called her parents and said "I'm not coming home,".  By sheer determination and refusal to give up, Andrea convinced the Ugandan government to close down that orphanage, which left about forty children with no place to go.  The government handed the children to her.  Andrea had a new vision to create a safe place for these children to grow and learn.  Today, Musana (which means sunshine) is a thriving orphanage in Uganda, housing over one hundred children!  When asked what it was that made her fight for these children she simply said "I just kept thinking, if I don't do something, who will?".  

Andrea was 22 at the time she first went to Uganda.  22!  Wow.  It made me stop and think about how busy we get with our everyday lives and wonder how many times we miss or overlook an opportunity to help someone that has a need or hurt.  So I'm asking God for the opportunity to be his hands and feet and to "Do Something" to show His love to someone in need today.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and may God Bless you!

"Love each other with brotherly affection and take delight in honoring each other.  Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically."  Romans 12:10-11 (TLB)

Hope can change everything....

Today is Thursday, two days after surgery.  I'm still very sore, but I'm able to get around fine.  I went to work, but probably will leave earlier than normal.  Tonight I get to take a normal bath and can't believe I'm looking forward to it so much!  Those that know me well, know how important that long leisurely bath is to me!

I received a message this morning from someone that I've not met, but asked me to pray for them as they are facing some serious surgery in the near future.  They are scared of what the future will bring.  Hope.  Never ever lose hope.

A few weeks ago I was talking with an acquaintance who told me he was an atheist.  So I asked him, "So, when you die, is that it?"  He said "Yep."  So I asked him, "If you were facing some serious or terminal illness, how would you be able to handle it without hope?"  He said, "When you die, you die, that's it".

Hope.  I can't imagine living my life without the hope and promise of Heaven.  You see, God has a plan for each and every one of us.  God will either heal my body of this cancer or I have the promise of spending eternity with Him in Heaven.  I have hope that God can and does perform miracles every day.  I have hope that God loves me more than I can ever imagine and wants the very best for me.  Never ever lose hope.

It reaches in the heart of your darkest night
Lifts you off the ground when you've lost the fight
Keeps you hanging on through the disbelief
Every day, every step, every dream
Hope can change everything.

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.  They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11 (TLB)

And 24 hours later...

And I thought I'd blog through the day yesterday! Ha ha!

I will admit I was scared to death. I hadn't slept good the night before with all those "what ifs" running through my head. 

The first step Tuesday morning was to get a shot that would inject some radioactive dye into the breast that would travel to the lymph nodes causing them to "light up" and the surgeon could locate them easier. We then went over to the surgery center where I filled out yet another ton of paperwork (my case alone is probably responsible for the death of several trees!). While waiting to be called back I was able to visit with some great friends that had come to support us and be with Jim. Thank you pastor Aaron, Brandon, Shelley and Eli, Ray and Morgan for taking time out to come. 

My time had come and I was called back. They got me settled in, took my vitals and started the IV. I talked to the doctor and he agreed to give me something to relax me and that helped! A lot! 

Eventually I was taken to the operating room. I was given propofol and the next thing I knew they were telling me to wake up. I didn't want to wake up, things were good- at that point!  But all of a sudden I heard the nurse pop the top on a coke and my eyes and mouth flew open! Awwww, that first sip tasted so good!

We made it home and I slept on and off the rest of the evening. 

They marked a spot on my chest before surgery to indicate where the tumor was, but when the surgeon went in to it, the tumor was actually deeper and they had to dig around more. I was told to expect to be really sore and they were right!

As far as the results, I won't know anything definite until Monday. They removed several lymph nodes to be biopsied along with the tumor. The lymph nodes will be tested to see if the cancer has spread to them. If they are clear, then we will stay with the current treatment plan of six weeks of radiation. If the lymph nodes are cancerous then the treatment plan will change. It's gonna be a long weekend!

Please pray that the cancer has not spread!  Thank you all again for all your prayers and support! 

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank him for his answers." Philippians 4:6 (TLB)

Busy, Busy, Busy..........

Busy, Busy, Busy.....If I just stay busy, I'll be able to keep my mind off of everything, right?  Right?  I'm going to get everything caught up and ahead at work, I even have the "junk food" drawer full of snacks so my co-workers won't get hungry while I'm gone.  I'll go at lunchtime and see if I can find a new book so I'll have plenty to read while I'm bored, I mean recuperating at home.  Tonight when I get home I'll make sure the laundry is all caught up and in good shape and make sure I have plenty of food and cokes in the refrigerator (I will be drinking cokes non-stop up until the clock strikes midnight tonight!) I'm trying to keep things as normal as possible because normal is what I thrive on.  Routine.  I don't like things messing up my routine.  But I know life isn't always about staying in your comfort zone and sometimes we are asked to step out of that place of comfort and have faith and trust.

"God I love You.  I don't love this situation.  But I love You.  Therefore, I have everything I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and will walk through until I get to the other side of this.  I trust in You.  In Jesus' Name, Amen. - Lysa TerKeurst.

I am scheduled to be at the Women's Center tomorrow at 8:15AM for pre-op injections with surgery scheduled at 11:00AM.  I will try and blog each step of the way.  I thank you all again for your love, support, and prayers!

"I am your strength and your ever present help."  Psalm 36:1